life changing

 On Monday March 4 a F150 ran a red light and crushed my car. I never saw it coming. The noise on impact was so loud and the force is indescribable. When something like that happens many things go through your head very quickly. Mine went like this. I have been hit, am I going to die, why is this lasting so long, why won't my car stop. I know upon impact I closed my eyes because glass was shattering. I know I opened them because I saw a guardrail and a utility pole and remember pressing the breaks hoping my car would stop. It hit the curb and stopped. After stopping I remember having intense pain on my right side and not being able to breathe. 2 men came to my car, asked if I was ok and asked if I could get out of the car because it was leaking. I got out and went to the curb where another man gave me his jacket (it was freezing) and hugged me. I asked him what happened and he said someone ran a red light and hit me full speed of 40 to 50 mph. I broke down into tears and told him I though I may have done something wrong and was so relieved to know I hadn't. I then turned to look at my car and saw the damage and the rest of the scene. Through my tears I pointed to the back and told the man that is where my baby sits. Still hugging me he told me that she was not with me and that they had checked the car and I was the only one in it. I knew that, but just the thought of her in that car still upsets me. I get emotional every time I speak of it. I know how much pain I was in and what I went through upon impact and I am not sure how it would have effected her or how hurt she could have been. I thank God over and over a million times a day for my life and for her not being with me that day. Definately a Life Changer!!!! Old habits die hard but I am trying to be more aware of my actions, my walk with God (or lack of), my words, and the list goes on and on.

 That is the truck that hit me. I don't know what all happened because I didn't ask anyone. I was in such shock but I strongly believe my car spun. You can see a dent in her side door which I think came from me. I think that was our second hit. I believe she hit my front, I spun and my rear hit her side. She then hit another vehicle. The driver was a young girl and she apologized to me. I did feel sorry for her but was angry because it was an avoidable accident. Paul came to the scene and on our way home he reminded me that we are not in control but God is.

 My mom had Harper and I was suppose to meet her halfway that afternoon. She brought Harper home and stayed with me for a few days. I was SO happy to see and hold my baby. I was given medication that made me sleepy and was grateful my mom was there to help me out. That night Harper let me rock her to sleep and she slept in my arms. This never happens. I think God knew I needed to hold her.

 that is my rear view mirror on the dash

One reason I think my car spun is because things in my car were found in the middle of the intersection.   Also, beads from the necklace I was wearing came off and were found various places. Paul's parents came at the end of the week to help us with Harper so we could start the car shopping. We are so blessed to have helpful parents that come whenever we call, and friends and family that were thinking  us.